TW: Suicide is mentioned in this blog
Have you ever felt like life is just constantly knocking you down? No matter how hard you try, you move one step forward and get pushed five steps back. Life is a constant battle between the universe and yourself. It is inevitable, but it doesn’t last forever.
1. Why Road Rash?
I made this design at a particularly low point of my life. Not going to lie, I’m still down there, but I have gone through all of this before. It doesn’t last forever, even though it feels like it. In a matter of months, I’d had so many life altering events happen that threw my down to the ground, and even though I was already down, life still kept running me over. The woman I’d hoped to spend my life with broke up with me out of the blue, and our friendship hasn’t been the same since. My best friend moved away. My job was seemingly at a dead end. I almost lost my chronically ill mother to COVID-19, and she still to this day hasn’t fully recovered. On top of all this, I quit venting to people, as nobody seemed to care anymore. While this was something understandable as I am not the only one with problems, it stung coming from all the people that had always told me I could come to them, no matter what was happening. I had always been there for everyone. Then I looked up one day, and it felt as though I had nobody. Life was running me over constantly, but I kept getting up every single day.
2. Pain Will Not Last Forever
Why do I keep getting up, despite not having any reason to care? While I currently see no point in fighting or living, I look back on how far I have made it. I also look at how many people I have lost to suicide, and where they could have been if they were still with us. I have gone through over my fair amount of hell in my life, and I know I will (eventually) get through it. I’m just tired of going through it. While I have no interest in anything or even living, I still have to get up, dust myself off and keep going. Not only for me, but for the possibility of it one day being worth it. I get up in the hopes that one day, I am finally happy, all my hard work finally pays off and I can just be. Until then, I’m just here.
Everyone is going through something in their lives. This is not meant to be a sob story or a cry for help, but simply an outlet I have chosen to take during my stay in hell. Always take care of yourselves and your loved ones. We are all stuck here in this life, on this planet TOGETHER. We should build each other up, but never forget to make ourselves our top priority.
If you or someone you know is suicidal, Call or text Suicide & Crisis Lifeline 988